Coping Strategies For Sexual Assault Survivors Who Feel Like Giving Up
Content note: This post talks about sexual assault and suicidal thoughts. If you’re in crisis, please call or text 988 or contact RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or rainn.org.
If you’ve ever wanted to give up, you are not alone
After sexual assault, some survivors carry so much pain that staying alive feels unbearable. It’s not just about what happened. It’s about the silence, the shame, the disbelief, and the way trauma sneaks into your body and mind long after the assault.
If you’ve ever thought about ending your life, it does not mean you are weak. It means you’ve been through something deeply painful. It means your body and mind are trying to survive the best way they can.
Statistics show that one in three survivors of sexual assault has considered suicide, and one in ten has attempted it. That’s not because survivors are broken. It’s because sexual violence causes wounds that often go unseen and unsupported.
Source: JAMA Psychiatry, McCauley et al., 2019
Why the pain feels so heavy
When the trauma is sexual, it doesn’t just live in your memory. It can affect everything:
Your body: Trouble sleeping, flashbacks, panic attacks, or feeling numb
Your emotions: Shame, anger, sadness, fear, hopelessness
Your relationships: Feeling disconnected, not trusting others, struggling with intimacy
Your spirit: Questioning your worth, your identity, or your future
RAINN reports that 94 percent of survivors experience symptoms of PTSD in the first two weeks after assault, and many carry those symptoms for months or years without the right support.
Source: RAINN, citing National Women’s Study
Coping doesn’t mean the pain disappears
Coping is not about pretending you are okay. It’s about finding small, real ways to hold on when everything feels too heavy.
Here are strategies survivors have found helpful. Not every one will fit you. Take what works, leave what doesn’t.
1. Ground yourself in the present
When flashbacks or intrusive thoughts hit, grounding can help you return to the here and now.
Look around and name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, one thing you taste.
Carry a grounding object, like a smooth stone or a piece of fabric, to touch when you feel overwhelmed.
Focus on your breath. Try inhaling slowly for four counts, holding for four, exhaling for six.
2. Write your truth without judgment
Many survivors find journaling helps release feelings that are hard to say out loud. You don’t need to write full pages. You can write one sentence. Or even one word.
Examples:
“I survived today.”
“I am angry.”
“This pain is real.”
Writing validates your truth. You don’t have to show it to anyone. It’s for you.
3. Make the next hour your only goal
When life feels unbearable, thinking about forever is too heavy. Focus on the next hour instead.
Drink water.
Take a shower or bath.
Step outside and feel the air.
Text a trusted friend or send one emoji if words are too hard.
Watch or listen to something that soothes you, even if just for 10 minutes.
Sometimes surviving the next hour is enough.
4. Move your body gently
Trauma lives in the body. Gentle movement can help release some of the weight.
Stretch slowly in bed.
Go for a short walk.
Put on music and sway to it.
Try yoga or breathing exercises designed for trauma survivors.
This isn’t about fitness. It’s about reminding your body it is still yours.
5. Create a crisis safety plan
Write down what you can do if suicidal thoughts feel overwhelming. Include:
People you can call or text when you need support
Crisis numbers like 988 or RAINN’s 800-656-HOPE
Activities that help ground you
Reasons to stay alive, even if they feel small
Keep it in your phone, journal, or wallet. Use it when you need it.
What Not To Do When You’re In Crisis
You may feel pressure to “be strong” or “snap out of it.” That pressure is harmful. Healing is not about being perfect.
Avoid:
Isolating completely when you want to disappear
Using alcohol or drugs to numb pain (it may make suicidal thoughts worse)
Believing the lie that your life doesn’t matter
You do matter. Your survival matters.
When Coping On Your Own Isn’t Enough
Sometimes strategies aren’t enough. That’s okay. You don’t have to do this by yourself.
RAINN reports that only 16 percent of survivors ever receive follow-up mental health care, even though the need is much higher. Accessing professional or community support can make a difference.
Source: CDC, NISVS; RAINN
Options for support:
Call 988 for immediate suicide crisis support
Call RAINN’s hotline (800-656-HOPE) for survivor-centered help
Search for trauma therapists who specialize in sexual violence
Look for culturally relevant organizations like Therapy for Black Girls, Sista Afya, or The Loveland Foundation
You are still here, and that is enough!
If you’re reading this, you’ve already made it through moments you didn’t think you could. That’s proof that you are stronger than the voice that tells you to give up. Your story is not over. Your breath still matters. Your life is still yours.
If you are in crisis right now…
You don’t need to carry this pain alone. Help is available 24/7:
Call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Call RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673)
Chat online anonymously at rainn.org
LGBTQ+ survivors: Visit thetrevorproject.org or text START to 678-678
Reaching out is not weakness. It is survival. And survival is strength.
