Returning to Work After Trauma? How to Cope When You're Still Healing
When You’re Not Ready—But Work Won’t Wait
Let’s begin with what most people won’t say out loud. It is not fair that you’re being asked to return to work while your body is still in survival mode! It is not fair that trauma survivors, especially women of color and those in underserved communities, often do not have the option to pause, breathe, or heal without risking financial survival. It is heartbreaking, unjust, and deeply exhausting, and yet here you are, trying to figure out how to keep going.
We created this guide for the survivor who has to go back even though every part of her is still aching. It is for the woman who’s crying in the car before walking into work. It is for the person who feels unsafe, unseen, or unready, and is trying to survive the day anyway.
This is not a list of “tips to be more productive.” This is a collection of tools to help you get through the workday while honoring your pain, protecting your peace, and giving yourself grace.
1: If You Absolutely Can’t Return Yet, Know That You May Have Options
Before we talk about how to push through, let’s pause and ask something important.
Are you sure you have to go back right now? Because if your body, your spirit, or your therapist is telling you that you truly cannot do this, not today, not yet, you deserve to consider other options. Even if your job or manager is pressuring you to return, there may be protections in place that allow you to take more time.
You may be eligible for:
Extended medical leave under FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act)
Short-term disability through your employer’s insurance
State-specific protections for survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault
Unpaid personal leave or accommodations under HR policy
You can learn how to request this in How to Ask for Time Off After Sexual Assault or Domestic Violence, or explore your legal protections in Know Your Workplace Rights After Trauma.
If your body says no, listen. If your intuition says wait, honor it. If you’re not ready, it’s okay to say so. You are not failing. You are protecting your life.
2: If You Do Have to Return, You Deserve Support—Even in Survival Mode
Sometimes, the reality is that the rent is due, or your children need food, or you’ve used up your time off. The list goes on and on. Life can be a bitch sometimes! Often times you have to return because your company’s policies are unclear, or worse, uncaring.
If you have to go back, this is not about pushing through the pain. This is about minimizing the harm while doing what you need to survive.
Here are trauma-informed strategies to help you move through the workday when you are not okay.
Strategy 1: Build a Workday Safety Plan
Just like you would create a safety plan after leaving an unsafe home, you can create one for the workplace too. This is your emotional survival kit.
Your safety plan might include:
A calming item at your desk like a small object, grounding stone, or scent-free wipe
A self-soothing technique you can do discreetly, like tapping your fingers, deep breathing, or stretching
A private space or break room where you can go if you start to feel overwhelmed
A check-in schedule with a therapist, advocate, or trusted friend before and after work
A code word or emoji you can text a support person if you need someone to talk you down
This isn’t about pretending you’re fine. It’s about giving yourself soft places to land when you need them.
Strategy 2: Limit Social Interaction Without Guilt
You might dread talking to people at work. The small talk. The awkward questions. The well-meaning coworker who says something that makes your chest tighten.
You don’t have to be social to be professional.
Try setting gentle boundaries like:
Keeping your answers short and kind: “I’ve been dealing with something personal, and I’m still taking it one day at a time.”
Wearing headphones (even without music) to reduce interaction
Eating lunch alone when you need quiet
Saying “I’d rather not talk about it, but thank you for checking in” and then changing the subject
Your job is to get through the day, not to manage other people’s comfort.
Strategy 3: Adjust Your Environment If Possible
Talk to your manager or HR rep about any accommodations you might need to reduce triggers or anxiety.
Reasonable workplace adjustments might include:
A quieter workspace or change in seating
Working remotely or starting the day later
Modified duties that feel less emotionally demanding
Taking regular short breaks without penalty
Avoiding working directly with people who feel unsafe or triggering
You don’t have to disclose every detail. You can say you’re recovering from a personal medical issue or working through stress with a healthcare provider.
If you’re not sure how to start that conversation, “Your Legal Rights at Work After Sexual Assault or Domestic Violence” has sample scripts and legal protections that can support you.
Strategy 4: Track Your Triggers and Tend to Them Gently
You might not know what’s going to set you off until it happens. A tone of voice. A smell. A loud noise. A comment from someone who reminds you of your abuser.
You are not overreacting.
You are having a trauma response.
Try keeping a private log of moments that trigger you and what helped you recover. Then build a list of go-to grounding tools:
Sip cold water
Touch something with texture (fabric, metal, stone)
Take a few steps outside
Repeat a phrase that helps you feel safe: “I am here. I am safe. I am in control.”
Journal or draw in a notebook during breaks
Your brain is doing its best to protect you. Give yourself compassion instead of criticism.
Strategy 5: Celebrate the Small Wins
Sometimes success is showing up. Sometimes it’s not quitting mid-shift. Sometimes it’s making it through the morning without crying. All of that counts.
Give yourself credit for:
Getting out of bed
Getting dressed
Noticing when you needed a break
Saying no when you needed to
Making it through one hour at a time
You are not behind. You are not doing it wrong. You are surviving—and that matters.
You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone
Returning to work after trauma is not something anyone should have to figure out by themselves. It’s not something we’re taught how to do. And it’s not something our workplaces are often prepared to support.
But you are not alone. You are not weak. And you do not have to abandon your healing just to keep your job.
If you can take more time, take it. If you need support, ask for it. If you feel lost, reach out. There are people and places ready to walk with you.
And if today, all you can do is make it to work and come home again, you’ve done enough.
If you’re returning to work after trauma and need more support, we encourage you to view all of our resources mentioned in the post and on our resources page. We’ll continue to share real, practical strategies for navigating work while healing. You’re not alone, and we’re committed to walking with you, one step at a time.
If you are looking for something that can help you with returning to work, we created a Return to Work Checklist After Trauma to help survivors like you manage the day with more support, structure, and self-compassion. Whether you’re heading back after sexual assault, domestic violence, or another traumatic experience, this checklist offers practical tips to help you cope, protect your peace, and move at your own pace.
